Tuesday, May 27
it is only a small step from attachment parenting to gentle discipline, something i found out about when i picked up my reading about parenting when i was pregnant with little bee. and although this book did not teach me many new things, it definitely resonated with me. it sounded right, it made a lot of sense. i don't think i could ever practice attachment parenting or gentle discipline for the full one hundred percent (whatever that is), but i have learned a lot and am definitely trying to use the techniques and advices in everyday life with my two little people.
consciously, intentionally, and consistently living out how you want your children to turn out is the most powerful and effective character training there is.
the bottom line is, your children are always watching and learning, so make sure what they see in you is what you want to see in them!
l.r. knost ~ two thousand kisses a day
Sunday, May 25
i don't buy many commercial beauty products anymore so i don't get many samples either these days, but of course i've been saving the ones i did get diligently. my favourites out of this bunch:
~ the body shop nutriganics smoothing day cream ~ this has a lovely natural scent to it, and it doesn't contain as many nasty ingredients as many other products of this brand. a good alternative if you want to go a little more natural than mainstream.
~ ginvera green tea nude cover bb cream ~ i started using bb cream a while back as an alternative to liquid foundation, and this was one of the nicer once i have tried so far.
~ lush flutter cuticle butter ~ i don't use as many lush products as i used to, but i still love many of them. like this one, which holds almost a cult status among beauty bloggers. quite deservedly so i think.
Wednesday, May 21
Thursday, May 15
i have talked about it before. how new mothers try to keep up appearances, both in real life and in the digital world. making all the other new mothers feel bad about themselves. and creating a vicious circle. why is it such a big deal to pretend raising young children is all sunshine and roses? why is it so hard to be honest? here is just a snippet of something i often feel but hardly ever hear anyone else express:
i feel that the bond between me and little bee is not very strong yet. it simply has to grow with time and attention, which is completely normal and natural i'm sure. and i find it hard to make any progress with this when i am on my own taking care of two small children. those times feel more like surviving, basically. and i definitely don't believe it's any different for other new mothers who are also raising an older child. you do the best you can and sometimes you catch yourself enjoying a small moment, but you also catch yourself losing your temper and glancing at the clock ten times an hour. and realising at the end of the day, standing in the middle of your toy-strewn house, that you have hardly taken the time to actively love your newborn.
now if we could only find the nerve to be honest about things like these, that would already make it so much easier.
Monday, May 12
so, what does the form of attachment parenting that we practice with little bee look like exactly? apart from the breastfeeding, it mainly means that she is with us (well, mostly with me) always while she is sleeping. i carry her in a wrap for every daytime nap, and she sleeps in our bed at night - a controversial thing, i know. we set up a co-sleeper before she was born but so far we have not used it after the first week. our pram is still in storage and i have not felt the need for it at all yet.
i always imagined the houses of mothers practicing attachment parenting would look like one big mess and the mothers themselves would be completely sleep-deprived with no time to put on make up or do their hair. but the reality turns out to be quite the opposite: i can do almost anything while little bee sleeps during the day, because i have both my hands free after helping her fall asleep (this usually involves walking around with a pinky in her mouth and the other hand cradling her head). and i'm pretty sure i get more sleep at night than most new parents even though little bee nurses two or three times. having her right beside me means i never have to get out of bed to take care of her.
of course it is hard sometimes but isn't everything hard at times? and besides, i did not choose to do things this way because i thought it would be easy. yes, i feel like i have to make sacrifices sometimes. but then i think of this quote. and yes, i feel frustrated sometimes (pretty much at least once every day). parenting a newborn can be hard after all, no matter how you choose to do things.
Wednesday, May 7
Sunday, May 4
rereading the book that i first read two years ago. something to remember during the hard times:
parenting is a lot of work. my advice: don't shy away from it. instead, attach yourselves. wrap your lives around your newborns' lives and rhythms and realize that, rather than returning to "normalcy", this is the new normal.
jay gordon ~ introduction to beyond the sling
Friday, May 2
the change from having one child to having two children: many other parents warned us about the exhaustion, the lack of time for anything but those children, the tremendous difference. i guess these are still the easy days since little bee is asleep most of the time, and some things are definitely hard to navigate. how do you put a toddler to bed for his nap when you're on your own and the baby wants to nurse at exactly the same time? what do you do when that toddler needs his lunch but it's impossible to prepare it with one finger stuck in the mouth of the baby who would otherwise be crying her eyes out?
basically, you sometimes can't do what is best for both of them. for me, that's difficult, given the perfectionist that i am. and yet, so far i have to say we are doing more than ok. i'm also enjoying these early weeks so much more than the first time. the secrets to that: i'm feeling more confident that i know how to take care of this tiny baby because i've done it all before. i follow my instincts when it comes to where she sleeps (always close to me, more on that in a later post) and we are seriously limiting the amount of visitors, leaving us with so much more time to simply be together.
Thursday, May 1
there she is: our little bee was born on march 22, a few days before the due date. i remember wondering before she was born whether i would love her as much as i love little imp. yes, i do. it's a very new sort of love, i am still getting to know her every day (and every night). another special thing is how i seem to feel even more love for little imp now that little bee is here. how precious this all is.